The Little Stories We Tell
by Amber Tinted
Summary: ‘Whatever happens, Kagome, we’ll go on forever. I mean it, I swear.’ Funny how things change. InuKag
1. Chapter 1

**_Summary: 'Whatever happens, Kagome, we'll go on forever. I mean it, I swear.' Funny how things change. Inu/Kag

* * *

_**

_The Little Stories We Tell_

**Chapter 1**

The car ride home is always the shakiest. I always sit there in silence, with my arms folded across my chest, watching my best friend flip her hair in the air, laughing lightly at whatever he says. The man who's driving used to be my best friend. Now that I'm looking at him, I can see the disgusting change in him and how four years of total popularity completely wasted his ego. He used to be a nice person. Used to be. A very long time ago.

People always wonder why I catch a ride with him everyday after school, knowing our past and all but anybody close to me knows, I only ride with him because my best friend Kikyou wants me there for moral support. I don't know why I always agree with Kikyou to catch a ride with Inuyasha with her, maybe because I'm her best friend and I could never say no to her.

Kikyou isn't somebody anybody could easily say no to. Maybe that's why I'm in the car right now, I always tell myself that but I know that inside, there's probably a different reason lingering inside.

But sometimes I wish that Kikyou would ask somebody besides me to come with her. Her being slightly unaware of mine and Inuyasha's together, she is always more incline to ask me before let's say, Sango or Ayame. If only she knew what a bastard he is and what happened between use. But I won't be the one to tell, I won't be the one to break her heart.

"So, Kag—"

"Don't call me that, I hate that name." I cut in.

He used to call me that four years ago before he realized that people worshipped him. The little hanyou boy that nobody paid attention to a year ago was suddenly on the lips of everybody in the high school.

Sometimes I wished that he was the short, gawky, squeaky voice hanyou boy that he used to be. Over a course of three months, he became handsome, irresistible and reckless, he even found somebody as reckless as him, Miroku.

For a few months of our freshman year, Inuyasha tried to play it off like everything was still the same. That he was still that hanyou he used to be, before high school, and then, he started avoiding me, making up excuses for why he couldn't hang out with me. I got the hint real quick and cut him off immediately.

It was—_friendly_ at first, a friendly goodbye I call it, and then it just got—_difficult_, he stopped waving, I stopped saying hi. We started avoiding each other's eyes and trying to see each other as little as possible. It worked for a while. Until Inuyasha showed interest in Kikyou, I honestly don't know what she sees him or he sees in her. He isn't the boy I used to know and him not being that makes me afraid to even know him again. And Kikyou—well I won't say anything degrading because she is my best friend.

"Kagome." Inuyasha rolls his eyes, "How's senior year treating you?"

I take a second to answer before taking a glance at Kikyou, who is talking away on her cell phone. _Great._ "Fine. You?"

"Interesting." He raises his eyebrow, "Very interesting."

Whatever. I guess I could be considered as bitter. To be honest, I think I am. I cannot look at him and not think of hurling some furniture at him, he broke his promise. I can never forgive him for that. Something my mother taught me was forgiveness but when it comes to promises, hold out like a mule until somebody takes you out. Either somebody is going to take me out, or I'm going to continue to be stubborn. Whatever the outcome is, I can tell you, I don't like to be lied to.

"What's interesting?" Kikyou pipes in, shutting her cell phone.

"Nothing." I glare at Inuyasha as the car pulls up to Miroku's house, "Absolutely nothing."

I jump out of the car, stalking towards Miroku, who is sitting on the truck of his car. I hate leaving places angry but after all Inuyasha and I been through, he would at least acknowledge that he has known me once. I know that it's a little dent on his image, knowing the all around good girl virgin of the school and once befriending her, but still—it was—frustrating.

"Kagome! The woman I want to see!" Miroku calls making me smile, "You're the most beautiful woman here and Kouga would have to agree. Right?"

Kouga have this weird infatuation with me. Every since I turned sixteen, Kouga has been following me around like a lost puppy without its bone. Of course, I'm flattered but I think it's weird that somebody like him, up with Inuyasha and Miroku, would think I'm pretty and be so flamboyant about it.

Inuyasha strolls up the driveway, with his hands in his pocket, while Kikyou trots behind him. I don't think that Inuyasha was the one to show interest first, honestly, I don't know what the real story is, simply because I was in Greece at the time and I never spend the summers in Tokyo. Kikyou swears up and down that Inuyasha was the one to make the first move but from what I can see now, I think she's lying.

"Where's Kouga?" Inuyasha interrupts.

"Kagome and I will get him." Miroku winks at me, "Right?"

"Right." I let Miroku loop his arm around mine as we walk towards the house.

"Don't do anything stupid." Inuyasha yells as Miroku turns around.

"Right like that's possible."

Something about Miroku, I really like him. He's a great guy, despite the fact that he was a major pervert. That was before Sango. Sango is his girlfriend and as I mentioned before my best friend, mine and Kikyou's best friend. There was a time where I wouldn't trust Miroku's hand to be near my backside but now I know it's safe.

I can see why Sango loves him so much. Miroku have this light around him and whenever he talks, he _usually_ somehow someway incorporates '_right_' right into the sentence like 'right' somehow belongs there. He's nothing like his best friend, Inuyasha, none of them are. He is something special. I can feel it and that's what I love about him.

Miroku escorts me into the house and for some reason I can feel he's itching to tell me something. Every time we turn the corner, he glances over his shoulder and once he feels the coast is clear, he ruffles his hair and sighs.

"Okay?"

"I'm fine. Umm… Kagome—" Miroku glances over his shoulder again, "Umm—you know Inuyasha, right?"

Why is he asking me this?

"I really don't know how to say this but he's going through a rough time."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask.

"I don't know. I mean, you knew him longer than both Kouga and I have and I just feel that you could help him through his rough time."

"What happen?"

Miroku shrugs, trying to play it off like whatever he was talking about isn't such a big deal, "I don't feel like it's my place but stop by at Inuyasha's house one day and just pay him a visit. He'll like that."

"Whatever."

It only took us a second to find Kouga, who is sprawled across Miroku's sofa, flipping through the channels. Kouga is always the one to look amazing even wearing a stupid brown headband with his hair in a high pony. Even though I don't have the feelings that I want to bear for Kouga, even I can appreciate his good looks.

"Kaggers!" Kouga smiles, standing up immediately, "You look _dashing._"

"Oh spare the heroic talk to someone who cares."

We all look up, staring at Inuyasha who now have his black hoodie pulled over his head. I look behind him, looking for any sign of Kikyou before flopping down to the couch.

"Where's Kikyou?" I ask.

"She walked home. Family dinner or something." Inuyasha shrugs, joining me on the couch, "Whatever."

That is Kikyou's way of flirting. Most of the time it worked, with the guy at her house three hours later, _begging_ for her to become their girlfriend. From experience, I know Inuyasha wouldn't be the one. I had too many friends trying to pull something like Kikyou have to make Inuyasha come to them. It usually fails.

Inuyasha never had a girlfriend. Everybody knows that and he is just as big as a virgin as I am. Except, not everybody knows that, I don't even know how I know that. Everybody just assumes that he lost his virginity to some older girl and never gotten over it. I assumed that once until I knew the truth.

"Maybe you should run after her." Kouga jokes, elbowing Inuyasha in the ribs, "You know she likes that."

"Hey!"

"Come on, Kagome, everybody knows Kikyou is the biggest slut in the school." Inuyasha replies, snatching the remote from Kouga, "And everybody knows the games she plays to get guys to do what she wants."

"She's not like that." I insist as I look at Miroku, "Tell them that she's not like that."

"_Kagome—_"

"How can you say that? I thought you were interested in her?"

"That's the other way around, honey." Inuyasha says.

"You bastard!" I hiss before turning around and walking out of the door.

Losing my temper isn't something I do often, probably hardly ever. But the rage I'm feeling, it's something else. Maybe because I know how Kikyou is going to feel when she hears what Inuyasha and friends has been saying about her. It just hits close to home because there was many times in my ninth grade career I wondered what lies Inuyasha was spewing about me.

I sigh, glancing around the empty street. I didn't even live anywhere close to Miroku but I'm not going to grovel and ask for a ride home. Not after what they said about Kikyou. I am a true friend and despite what may be true or not, I am going to stand behind my friend because that's what friends do. That's how friendship is supposed to be trust and loyalty.

"Kaggers!" I turn around, greeting the face of Inuyasha, rushing through the door.

"I hate that name, also." I reply.

"Shut up and get in my car."

"No! You shut up and get out of my face."

Childish, I know but I never said I am being mature about the whole thing.

"Stop being stubborn. How the hell are you going to get home? You're certainly not going to walk."

"Watch me!" I reply as I turn on my heel and begin walking."

"Fine. Then I'm walking too. Right beside you. And you better believe it; I'm not going to stop walking you home because you tell me so."

"Fine, I'll get in your damn car."

With Inuyasha losing battles were sometimes inevitable. That's what I used to like about him, he was always one step ahead and from what I can see now, still is. Some things will never change.

I jump into the passenger side of Inuyasha's black Mercedes convertible as it peeled off Miroku's driveway. I know that thing is his pride and joy. Especially after I saw him jump on Miroku the day his parents issued the car. I quickly glance out of the window, trying to avoid all forms of talking. I may have accepted his invitit—command to get in his damn car but I'll be damned if I have to talk to him.

"You're awfully quiet. A penny for your thoughts." I wince, "Sorry. I didn't mean… how's life treating you, Kagome Higurashi?"

"Dandy." I reply sarcastically, Inuyasha chuckles, "Pretty damn dandy."

"Listen, I'm sorry what I said about Kikyou."

I turn to face him, "Did you mean it?"

Inuyasha hesitates before replying, "Yes. I did."

"Then don't apologize."

"Dammit, Kags, why are you being such a bitch to me?"

"I don't know, Inuyasha, I really don't know!"

"If this is about ninth grade, I was a jerk. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you completely—"

"Well you did, _congratulations_!"

Inuyasha abruptly sighs, "Funny how things change."

The car halts before my shrine before I quickly push out the door, "Yeah, _funny_."

He gives me a glance before he drives off quickly. I hate arguments, I've always have but this one, this one too was inevitable. I climb up the steps of my shrine, slowly feeling the exhaustion I felt, before I went to Miroku's, come me. I step inside the shrine, watching my mom's curious eyes upon me.

"Had fun?"

"Yeah, loads."

I know she saw Inuyasha's Mercedes but I didn't want to discuss it. I don't want to relive the past. Not now. Not now when it hurts so much. For not the first time ever, I went to sleep with the weight of the world upon my shoulders.

* * *

**_A/N: Before ya'll bitch, moan and complain about another story. I'll tell you, this is the first 'real fiction' I've written and probably am ever going to write. It's about real life and things that happen in real life. Losing your best friend happens all the time. Anyway, there will be some romance between Inuyasha and Kagome if you're wonder. I'm thinking this might be a ten chapter ficlet. I will not limit myself and put a limit upon myself._**

**_Hopefully ya'll like. _**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Summary: 'Whatever happens, Kagome, we'll go on forever. I mean it, I swear.' Funny how things change. Inu/Kag

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_The Little Stories We Tell_

**Chapter 2**

Waking up is always the hardest for me. Always. Every morning I wake up to the reminder of what I have lost and how little time I have to continue being a kid and living off my parent's money. When we were younger, there was never a morning where Inuyasha didn't trot over to my house to eat breakfast with my family. It wasn't like he lived close, unless you count two miles, sometimes on foot, close. It was just; I guess he enjoyed my family a little more than his. That is understandable.

Inuyasha's family is…dysfunctional. Now that I'm older, wiser and seventeen, I can understand why spending time with my almost picture perfect family was such a big deal to the young Inuyasha. It's hard now, waking up to the fact that I no longer had somebody to walk to school with me, with perfect understanding of each other and being with somebody I've shared my whole life with. It's… hard. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever experience.

It's like death in a family because after all, Inuyasha is dead to me.

I take a final look at myself in the mirror before walking out of the house, looking for signs of Miroku. Miroku is the ultimate guy to get a ride from because he is my best friend's boyfriend, I feel I can share myself with him and not feel too embarrass about it because Miroku is just one of those guys, he's too wise to be as young as he is and that's why I rely on him so much. He's probably the smartest guy I've ever met and probably will ever know.

A car speeds around the corner as my mouth drop in awe. Are you kidding me, I think to myself as I slowly start making my way down the steps. Where's Miroku? The trademark black Mercedes pulls to the curl as the silver haired hanyou begins fixing his rear view mirror, ignoring the fact that I'm in complete and utter shock.

"Well don't sit there and gawk, get in the damn car."

I nod, pulling open the doors and sliding in. I didn't even know he remembered how to get to my house in broad daylight. Especially before school. I take a survey of him, noting that he is wearing his uniformed white shirt and to complement it with his green tie. He looks… astonishing. I never knew that somebody with such an ugly personality could be just so damn beautiful. And that just angers me even more.

"Where's Miroku?"

"At home, sick. Sango's plane got delayed, so he decided that he wasn't going to come. He said that he's sorry he didn't call you but he is sure you'll understand."

I nod again, leaning against the door. I understand all right, Miroku is lovesick. That is the _only_ why Miroku would skip school. For as long as I known him, which is four years to be exact, Miroku has never skipped school, simply because he is Class President and involve with other extracurricular activities that the clubs would fall without him.

But when it comes to Sango, nothing matters and since Sango has been in the States, attending her grandmother's funeral, Miroku probably couldn't even function without her being there. So him being at school would be pointless if he can't concentrate.

"And Kikyou," Inuyasha begins, holding up a finger, "Has a doctor's appointment. She also told me to tell you that she's sorry. Kouga was willing to give you a ride but he doesn't know where you live and as you and I both know it, Ayame doesn't have a car. So that would've been pointless. So here I am, Inuyasha, at your service."

He almost made me chuckle. I can't have that. I smile slightly before glancing out of the window again. I sometimes wish that I never gotten involved with Inuyasha and that I could erase being sat by him in kindergarten. If I was never beside him in kindergarten, none of this would've happened, I would just be in the presence of Inuyasha and be totally in awe of him, which isn't something I want either.

Inuyasha quickly glance at me before returning his eyes back to the road.

"I know you hate me, Kagome, I know that but can you at least pretend that we're on good terms?" Inuyasha catches my eyes, before turning away again.

"Why's that?"

"We just had so many good years together, let's not end our last year of high school on a bad note, okay?"

"This is a really long car ride." I mutter, "Are we taking the long route?"

Inuyasha grins, "Of course."

He's so suave, I freaking hate it. Everything about him screams confidence and vanity. I don't know, he's just not something I would like to know, not at this point of my life.

"Whatever." I mumble, "Do whatever you want."

"That's what I'm doing. Anyway, Kagome, just at least try to be nice. I'm being nice to you and we're having a perfectly normal conversation. It's not that hard."

"After what you've done, you should be happy I haven't killed you yet."

Inuyasha ruffles his hair, "Is this about Kikyou or us?"

"Both."

"It's about us." Inuyasha interprets as he turns the corner, "Listen, I was fourteen years old and I was dumb. I admit that. I'm sorry."

The car pulls into a parking spot as I open the car, "I'm sorry, as many times as you say it, I just can't believe."

I quickly wave at Ayame, who is stepping out of her dad's Jaguar. I love her, despite the fact that she's a tad bit of a moron. She doesn't compare to Sango but at least she is somebody I can relate to.

She waits a second as I join her, watching her cock her head to the side before smiling. Oh God, not this again—the same thing happened to me in the ninth grade, Ayame thought that Inuyasha had something going on, even though I've known him forever and everybody knew that because in middle school we were probably the most rejected people there and now look at us…

"He gave you a ride home… and school?" Ayame questions.

"Yes. Both of them by accident, might I add. I never want to ride with him again." I turn to her, "Ayame…"

"I can't." Ayame shrugs, "Pedicure."

"Ugh. What's up with everybody and their damned appointments? Ugh!" We walk into the building, as we both scan the sheet that is hanging on the wall of our Advance Chemistry room, "Oh great, a Lab…"

"And Lab Partners." Ayame groans, "Damn."

"Double damn is more I like it." We sigh before heading inside, "Labs and Lab Partners are like… Hell to me."

"I rather be in Hell than doing labs with an _assigned lab partner_." Ayame mutters.

"Ditto." I slid into my chair, ignoring the titers while Inuyasha and Kouga stroll in.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, sit down!" Mrs. Yangtze yells as she glares at Inuyasha and Kouga who are still walking as slowly as possible to their seats, "And that means you too."

"Is she talking to us?" Inuyasha asks loudly as Kouga nods, them still strolling.

"Yeah. I think she's talking to us." Kouga turns to Inuyasha, "Hey, Inu, isn't your brother the recently elected _Mayor_ of Tokyo?"

Inuyasha rolls his eyes, "Yeah. But heyI don't like to _brag_ that he is and you know how is about family—_why_, he'll go absolutely bonkers if he knows how they treat me here. But I won't be the one to tattle," Inuyasha peeks at Mrs. Yangtze, "But if he ever finds out…"

Kouga gives a low whistle, "Trou-ble."

They nod at each other, finally taking their seats in the back of the room. Sometimes… I shake my head and roll my eyes. It was quite an amusing display of power and if it wasn't Inuyasha I would be giggling along with the class right now but it being him, it's disgusting. I guess in America they call it prejudice, I call it—anger and bitterness.

"Let's continue." Mrs. Yangtze says, "We are starting are big lab presentation. It's pretty much old school, how to make a light bulb turn on without a switch. You can use anything we've taught so far even in the previous years."

Inuyasha's hand immediately shot up, "Can we choose our own partners?"

"No." Mrs. Yangtze replies as she points to a little white sheet in her hand, "I have it all here and lucky for you, Inuyasha, Kagome is actually a good student. I'm sure you two will get an A."

Inuyasha shrugs, comfortably leaning back in his seat. Things like this only happen in the movies. _Only_ happen in the movies, so why is it happening now? Why do I have to work with my old best friend who I'm not on the greatest of terms with? What is the world coming too?

"Kagome…" My head shots up, "I want you to make sure that Inuyasha does his share of the work. I don't want him to take advantage of you."

"Awh shucks, Mrs. Yangtze, I'm glad you care." Inuyasha mocks.

"Yes, ma'am." I answer before slipping down in my seat.

This is not happening.

* * *

This is not happening, I think to myself as I stroll behind Inuyasha. I can almost laugh at myself for the way I acted when Inuyasha suggested to me to go to his house and start on the Lab early. I mean, honestly, three weeks is certainly enough to do a lab but Inuyasha replied 'I have other things to do than worry about a damn lab'. Bastard. 

I bet Ayame is going to go into a coma if she finds out that I'm at Inuyasha's house, I think she'll attack me. I sigh, flipping back my black hair before looking at him again. Is he out of his mind or what?

"Mom, dad, I'm home." Inuyasha throws his bag into a corner not stopping to see where it lands.

His mom appears at the top of the step, "Kagome Higurashi! Where have you been? I haven't seen you here in four years. Inuyasha told me that you two got into a fight or something."

"We're only doing a project, Mrs. T." I reply as His mom face falls.

"Oh okay. Call the butler if you need anything, honey and Inuyasha, be nice." She disappears as I glance at Inuyasha.

"A fight?" I question.

"It's fine." Inuyasha says obviously frustrated, "It was practically a fight."

"It was not a fight!" I feel like stomping my feet for some reason, "It was not!"

"Okay it wasn't." Inuyasha replies as we begin climbing the stairs to his room, "I stopped talking to you and you stopped talking to me. It was a silent—"

"Truce."

"Yeah, truce." He shrugs, pushing back his door, "As you know, this is my room."

I quickly sit down on his bed, pulling out my book out of my bag. Too many damn memories. I doubt that he'll understand since—never mind. I sigh, pushing back a strand of my hair as I look up to see Inuyasha rocking back and forth while watching me.

"What?"

"Nothing." Inuyasha grabs a pencil before he stands before me.

"This is getting annoying, what do you want?"

"I don't know." Inuyasha ruffles his hair again and as I realize it's one of his nervous habits he have, "But don't you feel weird being here after all these years. I mean never once did the thought that we might not be friends during high school and now—look—we're…it's weird. We've been friends since we're five and now—we're…_not._"

"Well, this wouldn't have happened if you at least attempted to talk to me in public." I snarl.

"You don't understand." Inuyasha shakes his head, "You really don't understand."

"What is there to understand?"

"It's none of your business!" Inuyasha growls, "Stop being so damn nosey and open your damn book."

I stand up, "I'm glad I'm not friends with you."

"Oh why?" Inuyasha snaps.

"Because you're a goddamn egotistical monster, just like every single one of them."

"What about Miroku, Kikyou, Kou—"

I wave my hand, "Let's just get to work."

"Whatever you want to, wench."

"Whatever." I flip through the pages, "So what do you want to do?"

"What do _you_ want to do?" Inuyasha counters.

This is going to be one of those nights. I can tell.

* * *

I never thought I would be excited to see my house again. But I am. After Inuyasha drove away, I breathed in relief. After the last blow up we didn't even bother to fight anymore. It's just stupid and pointless and gets us _nowhere_. Being assigned to be his partner is got to be the biggest mistake our AP teacher has ever made. 

And for some reason, I have a feeling, there's more to the assignment than she's letting on… I'm sure there's more.

* * *

**_Everybody in the story except for Inu/Kag are pretty much minor. They'll come and they'll go and randomly come back._**

**_Anyway _****_Inuyasha is not being too deep or anything. At least I don't think. I mean, one's gotta be questioning whether or not defriending somebody is the right decision, especially over nothing. I just thought by Senior Year he's gotta mature and of course there will be times where he is prone to assholeness but I mean it's in his nature. _**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Summary: 'Whatever happens, Kagome, we'll go on forever. I mean it, I swear.' Funny how things change. Inu/Kag _**

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_The Little Stories We Tell_

**Chapter 3**

"Hey."

I stare. There he is, in the flesh. Inuyasha Valentine, with his big black sweatshirt overlapping his body, making him seemingly smaller than he usually is. His golden eyes are downcast, watching his feet rock back and forth on the hard cement. He looks beautifully lost, like the old best friend that I used to know. I feel like we're strangers and I feel a shrewd of other emotions.

I smile, hesitate as he looks up, meeting my eyes. Going though a rough time, I remember, opening my mouth but softly shutting it. I'm afraid that I'll say too much and have him leave without me knowing what's going on. I lean against my doorframe as he shoves his hands into his jeans.

"My parents are getting a divorce. I—'" Inuyasha sighs, "I didn't know who else to turn to."

I nod, ushering him inside before shutting the door. He looks so lost. So incredibly, stupidly lost. I follow him, softly making our ways up the stairs. He immediately makes his way to my room, propping down on my windowsill, letting his face sit in his hands. I sit beside him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He barely stirs, while he emotionlessly glances up.

"I thought—I thought they are going to make it through this. You know." Inuyasha leans into me, "I mean, you know my parents, they've _always_ made things work and this time—I thought they were going to do the same. Like they always do. They are too fucking perfect to be—without each other. You know, I mean, even Sesshomaru thought that they were going to make it. We all did and now—"

Inuyasha shakes his head, while slumping back into his hands. I've seen him like this before, usually in Junior High School when they thought Inuyasha was a bigger freak than he was in elementary school. It always pained me, still does, that nobody saw him for the great hanyou he was. Of course now they do but none of them truly know him, do they? None of them remembers they used to taunt him and call him "dog ears" and he used to cry home to his mother. Nobody understands what it was like for Inuyasha growing up, I don't either but at least I have a better understanding about it.

"They've been having problems for a while." Inuyasha says softly, "They fight all the time and I think my dad's cheating on my mom. I don't know, I just have this gut feeling and you know what they say about gut feelings—" Inuyasha chuckles bitterly, "They are never wrong."

I don't know what to say, I'm shocked, I'm confused. Why me? Why me of all people? We just barely started talking and even talking we're not saying the whole truth. Why now? Why come to me when everything has happened now?

Inuyasha glances up, alert, almost like just noticing I'm here. He stares intently at me, watching my every moment with a flicker of an eye, "I miss you, Kagome. I really and truly do. I really meant it when I said that I didn't mean for us to—drift apart like we have. We've lost so much just bec…"

"Sshh." I speak for the first time, wrapping my arms and body around him.

"Do you believe me?" Inuyasha asks, resting his head upon mine.

"Yes."

And for the first time, I do, I really do believe him.

* * *

Waking up in his arms is—weird. First of all, we are no longer sitting on my windowsill wrapped in each other's embrace but laying in my bed, with me still clinging onto him and his arm drape across my back. It's kind of a romantic way to sleep and kind of romantic waking up to. But still—I barely raise my head as I see Inuyasha's golden eyes upon me.

"Morning." I whisper as Inuyasha smiles.

"Morning. Do you think—do you think your mom will mind?" He asks.

I shake my head, softly bringing my hand up to my lips, feeling a smile tug upon my lips. I yawn, flipping onto my backside and away from Inuyasha. Even after all that is said and done, I just cannot say no.

"Breakfast?"

He nods, pointing to the shower, "Can I?"

"Sure." I stand up along with Inuyasha as we smile at each other again.

I nod again, walking out of my room and into the kitchen. I look at my mom, who is flipping pancakes over the stove. She looks at me giving me a knowing grin before turning back to the stove.

"I see that Inuyasha is here."

"Oh and why would you think that?"

"His car." My mom smiles, "And I heard his voice last night. So…"

"I don't know." I shrug, looking in the direction of my room, "I just really and truly honestly don't know."

I stare off to space before Inuyasha trots down the stairs. His silver hair is damp, hanging loosely from his shoulders and unto his mid back. I greet him but cannot help but to smell the soft smell of cologne and shampoo upon his body. He smells wonderful. Strong and power but wonderful. The way he is, the way he has always been.

I smile as I turn my head to see my mom, "I'll eat breakfast when I get home. Today's a half of day."

Inuyasha nods. It's quiet between us. Last night is just a distant memory, I think as we pile into the car. But we have this—understanding between us, like everything is changing again. Whether its fate or freewill, it doesn't matter. I kind of like it. Us being unspoken friends. Like there's a secret between us, I like that.

I lean my head against the car seat as the car speeds into the street.

"Thanks." The words just tumble out of Inuyasha's mouth as the wind whips across our faces, "I don't want anything to change between us."

"Oh. Before last night."

"After." Inuyasha nods, sounding more confident, "After last night. I want us to be before ninth grade but after last night, do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah." I fall silent, "You're the best best friend I can ever have. Even after we stopped talking, you've always been the best."

"I know." Inuyasha rest his arm around my seat, "_I know_."

And the car speeds off.

* * *

**_This story isn't supposed to brainless…it's supposed to be… I don't know romantic. The following chapters after this will continue this—"we're friends but gradually becoming more". I don't know, I think it'll be longer than freaking 10 chapters. Kind of a short chapter but all that was needed to be said and done for this story to get moving was just said._**

**_If you think "OH well, this is going to fast, Inuyasha shouldn't have come to Kagome…" think about this, would you rather go to somebody who truly and really knows you if your parents divorced or would you go to the friends who only knows you as a certain person? Kagome has seen all sides to Inuyasha, it's logical that he'll go to her, especially since she knows him best and knows how much he loves his family. Them falling asleep in each other's arms isn't romantic of any sort, it's giving the warmth and support that Inuyasha needed. Anyway, yeah, it's going to get romantic. I swear. _**

**_  
I'm not updating until like Friday when I get back from my vacation. Peace._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He broke my heart. At age fifteen, he broke my heart. I never thought this would happen, ever. I had him; he was mine. Even though we were no longer friends, I knew that I still had him. It was just the principal of things. It was the summer where I finally understood change. Maybe I understood it then, but I never experienced it. I knew Inuyasha was no longer my best friend and hasn't been for a year, almost. I remember this clearly. It was summertime in Greece, our parents' annual trip; he took me into his arms and said, "_Promise me that we would go on and whatever happens, Kagome, we'll go on forever. I mean it, I swear."_ And then he kissed me and broke my heart.

So I'm standing here, lingering on the stairs, watching him flirt viciously with some young sophomore or something, and I feel a pang in my stomach. It was almost what he did to me. And I know the young girl has absolutely no chance of resisting him. Despite his temper, he is a charmer. You want to believe him, even if you do know he's lying. Inuyasha has a special knack for that, like father like son, like brother, like brother.

His elder brother, Sesshomaru, is exactly the same way: charming girls from left to right, and as good looking as the Valentines are, it didn't matter if they were either seducing a woman coldly, or seducing many women at the same time, they always get what they want. It's the Valentine charm.

I sigh, making my way down the stairs, sending brain waves to Inuyasha to pay attention to me hopelessly. Likewise, as much as I want to believe that I am some type of psychic, the brainwaves were ignored.

"Kagome!"

"Kouga." I smile, even though I don't mean it.

Kouga means well enough, and he knows that I don't love him. But he's the only one at this party that I know other than Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango, who are helplessly entangled in each other. I don't know how I found myself here, other than Kikyou picking me up and telling me there was a party at some person's house and we were going. I don't know where she is now, all I know that she and Inuyasha are not together. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad.

"Will you have this dance with me?"

"Kouga," I speak slowly, "Nobody's dancing."

Kouga's eyes twinkle mischievously as he leans into me, "Because they don't have the rhythm of _love_ in their hearts. Come on, Kagome, it's only _one _dance."

I look around me again, watching everybody; everybody seems to be entangled in somebody. And it hurts because I know that I want something like that. No, I want more... I want a grand love and romance, heart stopping, heart shaking, breath taking, undeniable, real love. I want love like in the movies, where they ride into the sunset locking lips. I want love that the sun shines upon and the birds chirp for. I want love, and at fifteen, I thought I had that. Even though Inuyasha and I were no longer speaking, I had a good imagination that the reason why he wasn't speaking to me was because my presence made him mad with love.

But I loved him for the wrong reasons. I thought it would be romantic for two best friends who had fallen out, realizing that they were meant to be with each other and love each other for all eternity. I was a fool. And I hate being made a fool out of, even if I was the one who did that.

"Kagome?"

I blink slowly, looking up into curious gold eyes. "Er… Yes?"

How did I get here? I think, and I remember me saying no to Kouga again and walking outside, where I am currently, on the bench. Weird.

"You look pretty out of focus." He replies, tugging at his silver hair, "Any reason why?"

He's the Casanova of Tokyo and he's going to break my heart. My heart is going to be shattered into a million pieces and I will no longer be able to love again. That's what men like Inuyasha do; they leave a trail of hearts behind them and mine is going to be one of them.

"No reason." I blink again. "No reason at all."

You're going to break my heart, you know it and I know it, I think. It's the circle of life. If Inuyasha doesn't break my heart, the circle is broken. But since Inuyasha is breaking it, then the circle will continue being a circle and continue moving on.

Inuyasha grins, "Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"

"Nobody," I say haughtily.

"Oh come on, Kag, I know you better than you know yourself and I know—"

"Bullshit," I whisper.

"Excuse me?"

"Bullshit!" I yell, "It's been four years, you think you fucking know me? Think again, Inuyasha. You don't know anything about me. Not anymore."

"I thought we were past this?"

"I don't know what we're past; I just know that you don't know me like you think you do."

"Then let me get to know you better? Please?"

"No."

"No?" He says, astonished.

"You're going to break my heart, Inuyasha. I don't want you to break my fucking heart."

"I'm not going to break your heart. I'm not. What makes you—"

I feel tears skidding down my cheeks. "It may not be your intention but that's what's going to happen. I'm going to make the mistake of falling for you and end up with my heart in the dirt and my pride between my legs."

"Kagome."

"No. Please." My voice breaks, "Please. Just leave me alone."

"No." He says firmly, "I want this to stop. I want us to be the way we used to be."

"That's never going to happen. Ever! You're living in a fantasy world, Inuyasha. Nothing can ever be the same again. Ever."

"Well I want it to be!" His voice cracks, "Please. For me?"

I realize this isn't about me but about what's going on in the Valentine family. His parents are getting a divorce. Reality is not something Inuyasha wants to live in right now. Reality is not real enough for him.

"I can't live in a world of make believe. Sorry."

He smiles shakily, staring intensely at me, "You're breaking my heart, Kagome."

"I don't-"

"Don't." He says, "You know what you're doing and you feel great about it. Is this revenge for what I've done almost four years ago? Is it? Do you like _making me suffer_?"

"No." I shake my head, "It's not like that at all-"

"It is. You think you're so fucking wonderful, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" I'm a little surprise, I mean, where did this anger come from?

"You think just because you never ditched a friend that you're some sort of god! Well you're not. You're just as guilty as I am. You're just as human as I am. You think I haven't noticed that your shirt is desirability low or how lush your lips are even if you're speaking nothing but of vile and hatred? You think I haven't notice how much both of us have changed?"

"What the hell does any of this have to do with anything?" I ask.

"It has to do with everything. You're afraid of change."

"So are you."

"So am I." And he leans in to kiss me.

It's the second time I've been kissed and out of anger and out of hate, and I don't really care. I don't really care anymore. I need him more than anything.

* * *

**_Thanks for anonymous-miss for editing this._**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Sex changes everything and when you're me and Inuyasha, sex definitely can ruin everything. Everything that we have worked for in such a short time can be easily be destroyed by a temporary lapse of judgment. I don't really know what's going on; his mouth is upon mine and his hands crawling for dear life at the back of my head. I'm just lost. Everything just seems to be… a dream.

God. I don't ever want to wake up from this kiss. Ever.

"Kago—eer, I'm sorry?"

I'm still dazed. All I can remember is his warm lips upon me, and my body cannot fathom the shock that is still going through me. His lips were so warm and that's all I can think about. That's all that is entering my mind, not the bloody Jack, Jill or Joe interrupting us from our kiss. I've been kissed before by plenty of guys, don't think that I'm so prim straight laced that I've never been kissed before. But I've never been _kissed._ At least never like this. Never out of pure adulterated anger and that excites me and frightens me all at the same time.

"Kouga." Inuyasha grunts, standing up, "It's—"

"Not what it seems?" Kouga finishes, "Okay, tell me if this doesn't seem what it seems, okay. A boy kissing a girl and the girl kissing the boy back. What does that seem to you?"

"A boy and girl kissing?" I ask confusedly. I don't know what the hell he's getting at, but it doesn't seem too friendly.

Inuyasha has a look of utter and complete deadpan, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about or what just went on."

"I know what's happened. You kissed Kagome!"

"I kissed Kagome." Inuyasha says slowly, "Yeah, but…"

"Save it." Kouga looks at me briefly, "I can see I'm not the one. I'm not mad. It just hurts."

It seems like all this chaos happened without me even realizing this. Were they fighting over me? It just seems like I wasn't even present, and the spiff was much to brief for me to even catch wind. I guess I'm slow like that. I don't know what the hell is happening or when. Somebody has to hold my hand and say 'look, Kagome' and I'll look. Without that, the whole world can be getting attacked and Darth Vader could be taking over the world and I still wouldn't realize it, even if it was all happening before me.

It's sad but I guess it's better off being that way. Being in the dark, I mean.

"I guess… I can walk you home." I stare at him questionably as he pulls out his keys and gives them a light jingle, "I didn't bring my car because Miroku drove me here."

I stand up, awkwardly brushing my backside as Inuyasha continues to jingle his keys, never once tearing his eyes away from them. Inuyasha is such a mystery to me. Always has been and always will be. There is something about him that you cannot just read. No matter how good of a vibe reader you are, Inuyasha is unreadable. I don't know what he's thinking, nor do I care. I just want to go home and think.

I want to know why. Why, after three years does he come back into my life and befuddle my head again? I don't want us to be 'are we or aren't we' again. I'm tired of those games. Either we are or aren't. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about but I have a funny feeling I do. Deep inside, but I'm afraid to admit anything of the sort.

"So…" I say as we step out onto the streets, "What was that all about?"

Inuyasha sends me a look of annoyance as we continue to trot down the empty street while the streetlights beam bright. It's so beautiful outside. Especially when the night is calm, you can see every star in the sky, the breeze is light, and you can walk with a very light coat on. It's kind of like those movies where the guy walks the girl home, proclaims his love, and suddenly, it starts raining and they're making out in the rain. Of course, wouldn't you know it; those are my favorite type of movies. So romantic, yet so untrue.

Things like that don't happen in real life. Nobody confesses their love in the middle of an open street and Mother Nature doesn't just randomly decide 'oh my god, somebody confessed their love. Must rain.' And people just don't make out in the middle of the rain. Smart people would run inside and kiss because god knows what kind of cold you get after kissing in the rain. That's just my theory. I don't care if it's wrong or not, but it makes me feel a hundred times better.

"Do you really want to know?" he almost whispers.

I stare at him slightly before looking at the streets again, "No. I don't."

"Good."

And then we fall back in silence. All I can hear is the echoes of the crickets' chirping and our shoes scuffling across the black pavement. I sigh loudly, folding my arms across my chest. I'm not one to deal with awkwardness maybe because awkward is when things happen. I don't want things to happen. Not now. Not now when I haven't had time to think.

"So, did you have fun at the party?" I ask.

"Listen, Captain Obvious, I don't want to talk. So drop it."

"Growl. Somebody is an unhappy camper." I add a little skip to my walk, "Jeesh."

"Kagome." Inuyasha warns.

"All right. All right. Obviously you don't want to talk." I shake my head, "Fine with me, buddy. Fine with me."

I keep on wondering 'when did my house get so far away from Kouga's'. My house is about a block away from Kouga's at the most. Yet this seems like the longest trip of my life, like we're walking to France or something.

I look overhead, staring as my house glistens beneath the street lights. I have never been so ecstatic to see my little shrine. As much as I hate living on a busy corner, I am happy that I live so close to Kouga's, because if I didn't…

I smile at Inuyasha as we stand before the stairs to my shrine. Thank the Lord I'm home.

"You don't have to walk me up. I'm fine." I hold out my hand, "Goodnight."

"What the hell?"

"It's a goodnight shake." I shake my hand, "Come on, you know you wanna shake the goodnight hand."

"Kagome."

"Shake it." I say forcefully, "Jesus!"

He folds his arms, "I want to talk about what happened back there."

"Well I don't." I fold my arms also, "And I won't."

He sighs, "You can't run away from this forever."

"Well I can try." I start making my way up the stairs, "And you can't make me."

"Watch me." As Inuyasha follows me up the stairs.

"What the hell are you doing!" I yell, bewildered as I pick up my pace, "Are you following me?"

"I'm just trying to make you listen to me!" I steer off to the right onto the field, "What the hell are you doing, Kagome?"

"I'm trying to get you away from me! God knows if I go inside you'll follow and my family will be pissed."

"You're such a bad liar!" Inuyasha roars, "I know for a fact your family isn't home because you told me so earlier! Why do you have to lie?"

"Why are you following me?" I yell as I begin running. That bastard better not follow me, I am on my last nerve.

"Kagome, stop it. It's about to rain." Inuyasha says quietly. So quietly I can barely hear him.

I push my black hair out of the way, "No way! It's not about to rain. You know why? Because that only happens in the movies!"

"This isn't the movies. This is real life, and yes, it's about to rain!" Inuyasha argues.

"Jesus! It's raining!" I yell as water begins pouring down on me, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"That's it!" Inuyasha runs in front of me, making me run straight into his arms. He grabs my shoulders and begins shaking them. "Why don't you want to listen to me?"

"I want to think about this first!"

"Fuck that, I'm tired of thinking." He yells over the rain and he kisses me once again.

I don't remember much. Except that here we are now, staggering into my house, tugging off our clothes. It's crazy what sex does to people or sexual tension or whatever this is. I can barely tear my mouth off of his and the funny thing is that I don't want to. I tug off the last of my clothing, staring into his eyes as I lean again my bedroom door.

"Tomorrow morning," I hear myself say, "I want everything to go back to normal. I don't want us to be awkward."

"Awkward?" he says grins while we fall onto the bed, "We can never be that."

And we make sweet, sweet love to the light breeze and the starry bright night.

* * *

**_I am old enough to write about sex. There will be little chance of me writing lime or lemon just because people will most likely report this and my story will be deleted. So I don't want to take any chances._**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rain has just begun towering in and my state of mind too morbid to even care. My whole heart is pounding and it still feels like I'm falling down from a tall building. I'm still waiting for that _thump_-

that hard landing. I want to come down from this high. I want to understand—everything. What am I feeling? Why is my heart feels like it's shivering? I stare out of the window, toying with my hair. An hour until school starts, I've been up since four am, the time Inuyasha snuck out of my window.

For once in my life, I am glad that my family decided to come home early. I don't want to be awkward, I don't want to know what it feels like to officially say goodb—would he have said goodbye? Would he? Would he just be like 'later, see ya. Nice sex by the way?' No. That's not Inuyasha's style. Inuyasha has been bred to finely to act like trash. So what? So what would've happened?

They say that virgins get all clingy to the one who they've lost their virginity too; I don't think I want that. Maybe I want normal but what is normal when we never been able to find a medium?

"Kagome!"

It feels weird, dragging my feet towards the door, I've always loved school and now I dread every second of it. I'm scared that somebody is going to look at me and know. I don't want to them to know. Not until I know myself. Knowing is beautiful but ignorance is just as beautiful. I close my eyes, buckling myself in the front seat, listening to the car's engine roar slightly. I just feel like roaring. I feel like screaming, I feel like crying, I feel light, I feel heavy. I feel everything which is so impossibly stupid it makes absolute sense. Since when things began making _sense_? All my life everything made sense. And now… it just seems '_sense'_ and '_good judgment'_ is withering away from me. I'm scared. I don't want to live without sense and predictably. I want predictable. I don't want the unpredicted. I'm so fucking scared. _Jesus, what have I done?_

Did I really do that?

Did I really lose my virginity?

Did I honestly moan his name throughout the night as his lips trailed down my shoulder blades?

Did I?

Did I do all of these things?

Things that are utterly sinful and looked down upon?

God, I was such a good girl.

Am. Am such a good girl. But how can I be good when I just—

I've done the unthinkable-

the unpredictable-

the shameful-

the sinful-

the awesomely stupid?

Did I?

But it was so devastating freeing. I felt, alive and felt like I had a reason to live. God, how could I have possibly not done this? How can I go on knowing that I was never alive until—

_this_

Is that possible? Am I going to become this nymphomanic?

No! I won't. I refuse. I close my eyes listening to the low humming of the radio, humming—

humming-

humming to me.I feel at peace with myself and suddenly—I hear it. I hear the low crackling of the music and the annoying deejay's voice talking over the song. I feel my heart pick up and my palms begin to sweat. Please, I do not need another problem. And sadly I don't know what the problem is or if there is going to be a problem but for some reason, the inside of me disagrees. It _knows._

"Oh Kagome, this used to be our favorite song." My mom says, turning up the radio.

My ears perk as the radio begins to sing to me, "_Should I stay or should I go, something tells me I should kno—_"

"Turn that off."

"Kagome." My mom says in surprise, "Are you—"

"Turn it off." I snap, "Now."

My mom gives me an odd look before turning off the knob. The car fills with silence and that's okay because I don't know. Never in my life have I ever spoken like that. It was like this low rumbling volcano that was about to erupt. Where did that anger come from and why am I so angry? Is it because I don't know? I hate not knowing and I hate mysteries. I sigh, as I turn to my mom muttering a sorry before I jump out of the car, getting lost in a sea of students. Where is Inuyasha? And why would I care?

Because, I say to myself, you had—

I cannot even say it. I cannot even admit it to myself. And I enjoyed it!

What a hussy I've become. I enjoyed the deed with the unlikely guy. I switch my book bag to my right shoulder as I make my way towards the stairs. I feel paranoid as if everybody is watching and whispering '_that's the girl_' even though nobody's eyes are upon me. It's just my paranoia speaking and I wish it would just hush. I cannot fathom the possibility of somebody whispering about—

Me…

I stare with my mouth open as Inuyasha flirts openly with Kikyou. My heart begins to beat faster and faster and faster until it explodes or it just becomes this one big _THUMP_. I cannot get jealous even though my eyes are already in slits and I'm already making my way towards them. What am I going to say? 'Hey, you slept with me, you're mine?' Inuyasha's a big whore anyway even though he was a supposed virgin.

"Hey? Kag-o-me?"

"Hi. Kikyou." I say with false cheer, "You look good."

I feel my teeth clench as Kikyou twirls around, obviously please with herself. She can jump off a bridge for all I care. For some reason it bothers me that Kikyou doesn't know that Inuyasha and I slept together. Sometimes I just want to whip that smug grin off of her face and just say 'Hah, not everybody in the world wants you.' And skip away happily. That sounds so appealing that it even scares myself.

"Thanks!" Kikyou smiles, "I just bought this outfit yesterday."

"Nice." _No-body cares._ I turn to Inuyasha, "How are you?"

He looks alarm, before cooling replying, "Amazing. I didn't get much sleep. You know how it is."

Bastard! "Really. I did. Slept like a rock."

"_Really?_" Inuyasha raises a single eyebrow, "I don't believe you."

My slits narrows more, "Oh really, do you want a cookie for that? Maybe a pat on the back and a congratulations? Or—"

"Kagome, are you all right? I never seen you act like a bitch." Kikyou says.

"When I'm acting like a bitch, I'll tell you until then I'm not being a bitch. Okay, thanks." I say as I begin to walk towards my class.

Stupid. Stupid. I'm not supposed to act jealous around Kikyou. I said to myself this morning that I am going to let her have him but I guess—did it change? _'Should I stay or should I—' Get_ out of my head! I turn the corner, flipping my hair to the side. I don't want to feel this. I don't like this feeling.

"What was that back there?" I arch my neck slightly as I continue walking, "Hello, bitch I w—"

"I heard you." I say coldly, "And good morning to you too."

"Cranky aren't you? Maybe I should've—" I turn around and glare, "Oh come on, you're acting like nobody is going to find out sooner or later. All the signs are there."

"What signs!" I yell, "Are you blind? There are no signs to read!"

"Whatever. If we keep on coming to school both tired and both drained doesn't that say something?"

I snort, "Excuse me? When did I say that we were going to continue 'this'?"

"You enjoyed it. Don't lie." Inuyasha looks almost cocky, "I've heard that I'm really—"

"Wait what? I heard you were a--?"

"Rumors." Inuyasha rolls his eyes, "Honestly, Kagome, did you really--?"

I look sheepish as my eyes look downcast. How could I be so stupid? Of course he wasn't. He was—the way he—ugh and his mouth—jesus, I feel like a certified pervert. I mean how could I be so naïve? Inuyasha is one of the most popular guy's at school. I am so stupid. So stupid.

"You did. Didn't you?" Inuyasha lowers his voice, "I'm sorry. I didn—"

"Nevermind that." I glance at him from under my eyelashes before I whisper, "Did you enjoy it?"

He once again looks surprise, "That's not the kind of thing you go around asking people."

"Did you?" I ask again, he nods before the bell rings, "I guess I'll get going."

"Ok." He nods again, "I'll see ya."

My whole body is trembling again. And for the life of me, I wish for a happy medium.

* * *

**_I wanted this long breathtaking chapter when after an hour of typing, I realized I wanted it to be done. I swear one of these days I'm going to spend more than 3 hours on a story and spend more than a day writing the chapters. I'm so bad at this. Sorry for the delay. School just started._**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I am a wanton slut.

Its one phrase that every girl shouldn't think unless if fact you are a wanton slut. Yet, it's all I can think about, it's all I'm thinking about. All I can think about is him, me and my bed. It's rather silly, it's feelings that every girl should feel. Every girl should feel lust yet we're spit down on and called wanton sluts.

Heaven help me.

I hate sitting across from my mother, pretending that just a few days ago I was a stubborn virgin who just got deflowered and that it doesn't really matter. I hate pretending that I'm still the same girl I was before my senior year but I can't. I can't help but to think about how Inuyasha just stepped into my life, without any rhyme or reason, and suddenly my whole life has changed.

My life is…

Chaotic.

Heaven, I hate that word. It sounds like a freaking dance song. I feel like I should be talking about a gay disco club instead of my life but I am, I am talking about my life. My wretched life of a wanton slut.

But here I am, positively staring at my green beans as my mother goes on and on about what color should our new living room be. Would green be too bright or would red invite all the hookers over? She didn't say that but I wish she have, I need to laugh. I stand up quickly, muttering something lame about my homework, even though it is Friday evening and everybody knows that I do my homework right after school.

I give my mom a quick smile and run out of the house. Stupid. Who runs out of the house when they say they have homework? But there she is… Sango. It seems that we are connected at times, whenever I need her, she's just there. She appears out of nowhere, completely at random, without a notice. Out of sight, out of MIND!

I'm going fucking crazy. I smile half heartily at Sango as she approaches me, wearing the same half smile on her face. She wraps her arms around me as tears begin to spill down my face and words just come out. I have no idea what the hell I'm saying. None. But whatever I'm saying, it's shocking.

"You're not a meaningless hussy, Kagome."

"I just let him seduce me. I should've just done something dramatic and flung my hair and said 'take me, tiger', it's less whorish than pretending to be innocent at least people know not to be alarmed."

"You're not pretending."

"Fuck! Fucky, fuck, fuck!" I swear, "What's Kikyou going to do when she finds out?"

"Who the hell is going to tell her? Casper?"

Sango gives me this half look before sighing, stuffing her hands into her face. She looks—exhausted. Circles surrounds her bright brown eyes and her black hair looks tousled, as if she rolled out of bed, or probably had kinky sex with Miroku before realizing something was wrong. Either or I am touched.

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. It was just something that happened."

"I hate myself."

"Good God, are we going to have to restrain you?"

I pause before muttering weakly, "No."

"Good. I do hate to use force; it's too kinky for my liking."

And there I have it, my first laugh. I stood there for forever, laughing, half crying, pushing my hair out of my face. It was a marathon of what I thought would never come. The first light of my tunnel, of my journey. I stare at Sango, wiping the tears from my eyes. The sun is slowly setting and the streets are suddenly glowing with this purple haze.

I sit down on one of the stairs, sighing, "I haven't told anyone, about it, I would think it would _awkward_ to just announce it." She nods, understandably as she pulls me into her arms, "I never have been the one to keep secrets."

"You can't run away from him."

I close my eyes, I never been much of a runner, literally. If I run, I will never make it that far. I would just wheeze out of breath, hoping that somebody would just so happen to be on a massive killing spree and put me out of my misery. I feel a tiny drop of rain hit my head before the rain comes in. Just literally pouring.

The clouds begins rolling over and the thunder rumbles before Sango stands up, "I hate being wet."

"Have fun at Miroku's." I call, before folding my arms over my legs.

**?….?**

I find myself hours later at the front steps of the library. I have no rhyme or reason to be here. I just like the comfort of old smelly books and people being there for the sole reason that they need peace and quiet. A man holds open the door for me as I nod and smile, waltzing right in. Here's a place where I could be myself without anybody noticing.

Everybody here is worried about themselves and that's lovely. I didn't need another invisible eye watching me. I just couldn't handle it. I hate pressure. I smile quickly at the librarian before selecting a book and settling down on the nearest couch near the window. The rain still hasn't let up, it still is pouring but it is a lot better now that I'm inside and safe from harm's way.

I fold my feet under me, carefully opening the book, inhaling the sour aroma. It is a book about a sweet love tale, a young girl, loving a lord, and both running away. I love the story, it gives me hope.

"Hey."

I jolt, as I casually set the book down in front of me. His gold eyes stares at my intensely before glancing at the book that is set down before me. He quickly smiles at me as he picks it up, looking it over and sitting down. Inuyasha seems so interested in the book that it appears that I'm not here.

"You read?"

I hit him softly before laughing, "What else would a boring old maid do?"

"I don't know." He chuckles, "_On Wheel's Fortunes_? Is it good?"

"It's amazing."

"Amazing." He seems like he's testing the word out, tracing his tongue over his teeth, smiling, "Let's get out of here."

"Where we're going?" I look at him, suspicious, with my narrowing at him. He senses it, he turns around and he stiffens.

"Not like that… we're… I'm not going to… rush. It'll be utterly… just absolute shit. Stupid. I'm not like that. Not with you. Not with Kagome Higurashi." He struggles, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"I'm not made of china, I can handle this."

He sucks in the stale air, "I never said you're not. It's just… I know you're waiting for me to fuck everything up, you're analyzing every move I make. I don't want to fuck this up again. I don't want to be the way we were."

"We'll never be back to where we were."

"Then let's go." He pleads, "Let's go somewhere. Let's drive. Let's for god's sakes get the fuck out of here."

I nod as he smiles confidently, throwing his jacket over my head as we run out of the library and into his car. His pride and joy. He quickly peels out of the parking lot and onto the highway. Sign after sign passes by us, it seems as though we're never going to stop. I didn't want to stop. I just want to sit in silence, in the car, next to him.

It feels like old times and I would have to be naïve to say that it is like old times but it did feel like it. Even though when Inuyasha and I were friends we weren't old enough to drive, so we rode our bikes to God knows where and God knows how far, ten, fifteen miles? It didn't matter. Wherever he went, I followed. Or something of that nature.

Back then everything was so simple. Everything was either right or wrong or wrong and right. There were never any gray's. There was no need of happy mediums. It was just—simplicity. Pure absolute sincere simplicity. Simplicity that I wish I have right now.

"Sometimes I just want to run away." He says breaking the silence, "Everything just seems so _hard._"

"And it only gets harder."

"It's frightening isn't it? We think we're having problems now, imagine us twenty years later, dealing with marriages, divorces, _kids._" He chuckles bitterly, "What the fuck are we going to do then when now we're running away?"

"I don't know. Maybe they're wrong. Maybe it does get simpler. Maybe there is a solution."

"Maybe there are answers." He says harshly, shaking his head, "I wish there was. I wish I could know all the answers to every fucking problem then there couldn't be any more problems. Everything would just be—"

"Perfect but then what? Then what is there to do? Everybody would just be like everybody else and selfish fucks who do not know anything about themselves because they didn't have problems to face and to teach them about life and themselves. Then what?"

He sighs, staring dully at the road ahead of him, "I wish I'd know. I just wish that I could turn back time. Everyday I wish I could then I could be this happy seven year old with his happy friends and just be overall happy."

I realize at that moment that I have no real problems. Sure, I slept with this man, this boy, that I hardly knew that I knew once, and sure I regret it but… it wasn't the same. Here he is, used to living in this _delusion_ that his life is perfect, that his family is perfect and just suddenly his facade world is crumbling down around him.

It is _shocking._ His parents are the most perfect people in the world. Disgustingly so. His mother is the typical mother, she comforts her children when they are in need, and love them when they need to be love. She is that way with her husband as well and her father this disgustingly handsome man who could charm anybody's pants off and has this amazing smile. They were so amazing together. There would be times when I would see them glaze affectingly at each other when they thought we weren't looking.

Whatever happened? How could something so right just go so wrong? Why is life so hard?

"I just wish there was something I could do." I whisper.

"Me too. God, once upon a time, they were so happy." He strains to whisper, "And now… I don't know. I just don't understand it anymore."

I didn't either and for once in my life, I didn't want to either.

* * *

_**Yeah, I know, I wrote a chapter 7 ages ago but I hated it, it was dreadful. So I deleted it and wrote a new one. I honestly as I said before want a true relationship between Inuyasha and Kagome and hopefully these next coming chapters will show that.**_


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